Time of Your Life
by Astaldotholwen
Summary: [ One Shot ] Kairi is plagued by thoughts of Sora. He is forever on her mind; but what happens when these thoughts intertwine with reality and disillusions become truth? [ Warning: There is incredibly mature content within this fic regarding death ]


**Title**: Time of Your Life

**Written By**: Astaldothôlwen

**Point of View**: Kairi

**Disclaimer**: Just as the turn of the tide is forever churning; I will never own anything created by Square-Enix or Disney; which includes Kingdom Hearts. It is a continual circle. As well as not being able to own the contents of the game, I don't own the song, _Time of Your Life _by Greenday. There are only two main stanzas in this entire song; but it's a great tune so who am I to complain?

* * *

_Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road, __  
__Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go, __  
__So make the best of this test, and don't ask why, __  
__It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time_,

We live in a world of hate. A world where people run scared. Scared of everything. The milkman living on the corner of the Traverse Town main squares could be a serial rapist for all you know. The merchants of Agrabah may be living murderers and thieves behind closed doors. Behind closed doors are the lives we live. The lives we _long_ to see what happen behind these doors but never will.

Every now and then we live to see the day we wish would be erased from history. A day in our lives we wish more than anything to get rid of; a day we long to change forever yet we know in our hearts could never happen.

It's just not logical to be changed. Our lives _cannot_ be changed.

So we live in fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of those who are unknown to us. We as humans are created as cowards. The riddles and mysteries of life are forever close to us; forever plaguing the backs of our vastly complex minds.

The day I arrived at Destiny Islands I was paralyzed with fear.

Not the fear of the denunciation or that I would be murdered. No, I was afraid of what she told me. What my _mother _told me.

You see, my mother was an incredibly sick woman; she died at the tender age of thirty. She should have lived longer into her nineties like all the elderly on the main Islands of Destiny Islands; yet as it does everyone once in their lives, the Darkness and fear claimed her.

She was touched by him. By Ansem; a powerful wizard from when she was a child rumored never to have died. Apparently it was said that he could not be murdered or die. He was gifted with the life of immortality.

_It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right. __  
__I hope you had the time of your life_.

My mother told me that Ansem placed upon her a powerful curse that would cause her to live a short life. She told me this at the tender age of eight.

I later found out this Ansem was a fabled man of another World. She died not from a blight but from a deadly sickness that is commonly known as cancer.

Soon after her death I was given a choice in life. Either I could live in the local orphanage with no one to love me; or to spend the greater portion of my life on one of the smaller Islands by my home. My decision I believe was what anyone would have chosen I think.

And that is where I met you.

This was the fork in my life when I learned to love someone I never expected to meet.

As children you never treated me differently as the other children did. Nor did Riku; he understood my pain far greater than anyone else did. He knew what it was like to live alone; without a friend in the world. The world could be a cruel and dark place and Riku understood this better than anyone. I felt solace from you Riku. Thank you.

But _you_ Sora; you taught me something far greater in life; something I will never forget.

You taught me to love; to open my heart that was so badly damaged from life.

All the childhood games we would play I would always secretly want to get tagged by you. When you were '_it_' I always ran slower just to feel your touch. I thought this was always strange; my ten year-old-mind didn't know why I did this. I was young and naive but now I know it was something far greater than a school-yard crush.

I didn't think that it was possible for someone to be in love at the age of ten; how could it be? Life had barely begun for me and yet I found my soul mate. I found _you_.

I found myself crying on your shoulder often; mainly about the loss of my mother and you never complained. Never once did you roll your eyes at me or treat me as a charity case as we grew older over the years. My wounded heart became mended from your gentle consoling and for this I could never thank you more.

_It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.  
I hope you had the time of your life_.

Even as we continued to grow, yourself, Riku and I our friendships grew stronger. You and I were closer I secretly believe; though as I said before I will never forget what he did for me. He understood when no one else did. Riku and I held a special bond; a bond that can never be broken. But you hold my heart Sora.

You hold the key to my plagued mind and soul. You are the one that the Fates chose for me and I couldn't be happier.

After the events of Kingdom Hearts, I still felt bound to you. Our hearts are still connected I feel as though this connection is slowly diminishing. I need to see you. I _have_ to see you. I will see you. The years have passed and still you have not returned and yet I know in my heart someday you will. I refuse to give up my hopes that easily.

Remember Sora? When I said I would never forget the words my mother told me nearly fifteen years ago? It's true; I still remember. I will always remember.

She told me, '_Kairi, life will put boulders in your path of life; boulders you will have to over come someday. No matter how large or how high the boulders may seem – even if they appear to be mountains – you will be able to overcome them. You're a strong girl. You take after your grandfather you know.'_

These words were what got me through Kingdom Hearts Sora; as well as knowing that my heart was within yours. Together the ongoing spirit of my grandfather and your inner strength aided me in ways I never knew. At times it baffled me that anyone could be that strong or heroic; yet you were. I never doubted you; nor did I ever doubt my mother.

You would have loved her if you got to know her; you know that Sora? But as I was saying earlier I waited forever for you to return. I know you will; I know the light within you is still burning brightly because I can feel it within me. Whenever my heart feels down or I feel depressed your light is always there to guide me, to let me to keep me strong.

I suppose you are wondering where I am trying to get with these musings aren't you? If I were to listen to these thoughts would be wearing at my patience; I would want you to get to your point already. But the thing is; I don'treally _have_ a point to state.

The thing I've wanted to somewhat get across is that I believe is that I love you. I will always love you; isn't that what matters in life? To know there is someone, somewhere, who loves you more than life itself? Who is willing to wait until the end of her days to see you once more; even if for a mere fraction of a second?  
  
_It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.  
I hope you had the time of your life_.

It's strange when you are staring death in the face. It's always staring at you. Whenever death decides to strike; rarely are we ever prepared for it – even if we beg for it.

Is it unfair that the Fates refuse to allow us the plea we most direly wish for in this state? Death? Personally, I don't think so. There is so much out there that we don't know about. So much to do, so much to see, so much to explore; it'd be pointless to wish for something as silly as death wouldn't it?

Some days I think so; and some days I don't; it's strange really. Some days I think if I were to never awaken I would be united with you somehow – yet I know in my heart that would be the day you would return.

Yes, it would be. Murphy's Law they call it; when irony or misfortune slaps us right in the face. Life is a test; life is something to be cherished no matter what happens. We should be thankful for what we have been given in life. As much as I wish you would return, as hopeful as I've been this entire time; I'm glad to have known you Sora. I cherish every moment I have ever spent with you; every second, every single waking hour.

Everything I've said, everything I've thought feels so redundant and overdone; overdone in the sense that this has all been too obvious; too blatant. Of course someone who has had their friends gone missing would feel these ways wouldn't they? When I feel like this; I feel like I haven't tried hard enough for you to return you me.

I feel like I've failed you both; you most of all Sora. And I'm sorry. People keep telling me that it isn't my fault and that writing in my diary is _therapeutic_or something like that. But I think they are wrong. I've been too blissfully happy for much _too_ long. I've decided to do something.

_Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road, __  
__Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go, __  
__So make the best of this test, and don't ask why, __  
__It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time_,

Riku was right you know when he said, '_that's why we need to go out there and find out. Just sitting here won't change a thing. It's the same old stuff. So let's go_.'

Those words are so true; I am doing something impulsive; something that will change the conflicted feelings flowing through my brain. I _am _going to find you Sora. I've been thinking of creating a raft to float me towards wherever you may be; but then I realized that would be much too obvious; everyone would try and stop me. So I've devised another plan; a less noticeable plan.

I've decided to swim to you.

I've never been the most strong and able swimmer but that doesn't matter anymore. My heart will guide me to you – wherever that may be. They say when you love someone enough you're heart will search for them; and you will find them no matter where they are. And I intend to find you.

I know I can find you; although this is mainly spur of the moment – this idea of swimming to you – but I think I can truly do this; I need to see you.

I haven't told anyone this plan. I _can't _tell anyone this plan. They would think I was crazy! Surely this plan is perfectly adequate.

They wouldn't understand; no one understands. No one has ever understood me; except you Sora! That is why I _must _find you. So they can all understand that I'm not foolish. I think they assume you have passed on; but I refuse to believe that. I can still feel your heart connected to mine, and that's enough. That's all I need is to be able to feel you.  
  
_It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.  
I hope you had the time of your life_.

I open the door to my home; the first time in months. My hair is a mess; it is both knotted and tattered. I don't feel the need to look good for anyone anymore Sora. The only one I would make myself look decent for is you Sora.

Walking through the sand, I felt myself breaking into a smile; seeing the happiest site I could never imagine.

Emptiness; utter and complete emptiness.

There were no villagers walking around – no one to gawk at the '_girl who thinks her friends are coming home.´_

This is relieving. I've heard their vicious sneers; that is why I never leave my home. No one understands me anymore. I don't need any of them; I have my sights set on one person and one person only; you Sora.

When I'm not dreaming about you, I'm thinking about you. I imagine about conversations we could have; what we would spend the day talking about. I imagine us going on picnics and doing all the things lovers do in sappy romance novels I've read thanks to Selphie.

My feet have touched the cool water; I don't remember this water being so cold. I hope I don't go numb from the water; that might force me back.

_So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind.  
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time.  
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial.  
For what it's worth, it was worth all the while_.

_No_, not even sharks could force me away from you. Not the wildest of storms could make me leave you; or make my thoughts stray away.

Doing my best breaststroke; I swam what felt like hours.

Looking back at the Island, it looked so tiny, like a speck within the horizon. I felt like my dreams have been accomplished; I am closer to you than I have been for over a decade and it feels wonderful.

Though my muscles are screaming in pain, I refuse to stop and swim back. Exhaustion is setting in and I want nothing more than to sleep; but I won't. I would never stop swimming and fighting for you Sora. My arms feel like counterweights, my legs feel like bags of sand. I'm not entirely sure how fast I am swimming anymore; or even if I am swimming anymore.

My thoughts are going in and out of consciousness and the world feels wonderfully blissful. I don't know which way is north, where the Island was or which way I'm suppose to go.

Hell, I didn't know where I was supposed to be swimming in the first place.  
  
_It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.  
I hope you had the time of your life_.

None of that matters anymore Sora; soon enough, I will be with you.

Soon enough.

My breathing sounds ragged to my own ears but I've felt worse than this. Your inner light is guiding me Sora. I won't die; not today.

I'm only going to rest for a while.

Just a short while.

Don't worry; I'll wake up soon enough to keep swimming again so I can see you. I just need a tiny break that's all.

That's alright right?

Taking a deep sigh of relief, I can feel the numbness truly start to wear on my body. My fingernails are a deep purple and my teeth won't stop chattering.  
  
_It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.  
I hope you had the time of your life_.

Closing my eyes I find myself unable to keep my thoughts straight. It hurts too much to think anymore.

Allowing myself to lose awareness for the very last time I don't mind anymore. I would assume this feels idyllic. The salty water fills my lungs and the water squeezes all the air that was once within me far, far away. Tiny bubbles escape my nose and the tiny crack in my mouth as my lifeless body bobs silently in the fading dusk sky.  
  
_It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.  
I hope you had the time of your life_.

* * *

**A****uthors Notes**:

First off this is a present to all of you: **Happy Hallow'een! **

Come now; I couldn't make a Hallow'een present hunky-dory could I? It seems like all of the female protagonists in most horror flicks are crazy no? I'll try and make you guys another one closer to the (unofficial) holiday itself; if I do, I promise it will be a happier, care-free one. I'm thinking it'll deal with the Island kids telling ghost stories in the Secret Place with some serious fluff going on when some of the characters stay behind in the Secret Place for the night. If I see this idea posted by someone within the next few weeks I am gonna be _infuriated._ So don't take it please (puppy dog eyes) or else I'll _still _write it and will kill off someone else (super-death-glare).

All of that aside,

Okay that girl is outta her damn mind! Ha ha! Seriously though; all kidding aside I didn't intend to make her crazy; but man she was honest to God out of her mind! The beginning of the fic she seemed like the typical Kairi we all know from the overly redundant fics we all love to read – but then I noticed she was sounding border-line obsessive with Sora and I thought to myself, "_why does she seem to be losing_ it?" probably because she was! (shrugs)

I really hope you guys were getting the feeling that she was a little bit fanatical; and not exactly _sane; _though I am _hoping _you got that after she realized she was too far from shore to save herself from drowning. I'm not entirely sure I liked this fic, I might take it down and post it with something actually decent.

_**Reviewer Responds**:_

_Breaking the Habit_

**Lady Hitokiri**: Wow, I had to check and check again just to make sure I got your name right! It's so long; but is _so_ pretty sounding. I just love saying, '_Hitokiri'_ out loud I have got to tell you! Thank you for your unending support.

**Aliasfan**: Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Your review made me smile! It really did! I love it when people say that my one-shots weren't too short; it's nice!

**Lyphe**: You were confused by the ending? Hm, I'm not sure, I reposted the fic with an explanation at the end; maybe that'll clear some things up? I'm sorry about our fic; University is crazy! So much reading (sighs dejectedly). Will _Rollercoaster _be updated soon? (smiles meekly) Man am I a hypocrite or what? I'll post my own one-shots but won't post ours, I'm sorry!!!!!

**Lvkishugs**: Ah, here is another username I can barely spell! Ha ha ha! Thank you for another review; your reviews mean so much to me! Thanks a tonne!

**Ms. Anii**: Honestly, getting a review from you shocked the hell out of me. It felt so awesome! I still love Lingle, I really do! I'm really going to miss her! I admire your work so much; it was you who inspired me to create the redundant-Kingdom Hearts fics. Thanks to you; I've made so many friends (hugs).

**Riku of Darkness**: You left me such a long review! Thank you so much! I **love** receiving long reviews; I rarely get them! You could taste his frustration! (hugs R.O.D. until her eyes go all buggy) You are the greatest girl alive you know that!!!! I love that you thought I was descriptive; I tried, I really did! (hugs R.O.D. some more)

**Katie-chan**: Ahhhhh! Woot! My pc is fixed! Let's rejoice with Mr. Zeus and Jacob and Riku 'kay? Maybe we'll accidentally have to go to the beach again! Ha!

_Happy eighteenth birthday's Brody, Danninger and Steph! I hope your days were awesome guys!_

_Thank you again Brody (**Shive**) for proofing this; even if you claimed there were no typos! Lol! (smiles)_


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